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Oct. 10th, 2011


Writer's Block: In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue

Where is one new place you’d like to visit?

London. I dont have the heart to elaborate. Maybe I'll edit it later and gush about my love for the city.

Aug. 29th, 2011


oh my soul....

If there is anything, or rather anyone, none Gospel that could enter my heart, my soul with music, it is Incubus. I'm listening to the first song on their new CD for the first time, and my God. Brandon's voice sent this feeling of uplifting in my heart that spread through my chest and just jolted me with hope and energy.

Because I've been feeling pretty bad and my out look on life has been bleak. I know that there are things in my life that exist that should ground be, you know, my blessings. And I believe in God since Friday with Irene, I've had to mantra that He would not give me anything that I couldn't handle. He wouldn't set me in situations that I would fail in, and disappoint in the long run. Although I have disappointed and failed a lot.

I've still come out at the end. Breathing, if battered, bruised, and bloody in a soul way.

Well Saturday is where it began when the power surged and I thought to myself that our electric was in danger of being cut off. At any given moment. So! I give them a call, to tell them that I could put a little something on it. If I could, you know, to just stop them from cutting us off. Well, no such luck. But when I call my mother to get my credit card number (absolute last resort) and tell her the reason I need it.....Well, she saves us once again. And I feel, really terrible about it.

I always need to be saved. Even if I'm trying to brave something myself, others see that it's clearly an impossiblity for me to pull out. And so, they save me. And I feel thankful, truly. But I also feel really, really bad.

Well in rolls Sunday. I'm not sure if I'm going into work or not, because I just don't know what to do. And I call and call and call and finally Stanley answers. He's at work. I've got an hour to get there myself. Wake up Alex, wash and get dress, change Seth and get him dressed. Half hour till clock in time. Ring! Ring! Stanley, I'm going to be late. I'm on my way, but I'm going to be late! Harta family! C'mon. Alex, can you drive me straight in? Thanks, sorry about this craziness!

Car start fail...fail 2..fail 3....Oh no..What the heck? Why!? Fail 4...Pause. START!! Shift in gear...vroom! VROOOM! Shudder shudder lurch....Not passing 20mph....Shudder shudder lurche jerk! Stanley....the car wasn't starting, and now it won't go faster than 20mph. I'm sorry. No, you probably won't see me today. *feeling monsterously terrible because she's the only associate for Sunday, therefore making it only her and Stanley. Feeling like a huge failure and disappointment* Turn around for home and email Jim. I'm sorry! Explaination! Maybe I can do this instead....I don't know what to do. *silent grade of meltdown and panic* Hours tick by. Constantly checking for new emails. Email from Jim! Dreading, dreading...Okay...we'll talk Tuesday. Enter giant cloud of doom to storm over my head.

My melt down continues. And will not cease until Wednesday, when Tuesday's over. Actually, my nerves had calmed down some what, but I'm back to feeling monsterously scared writing this...

And so, I'm going to listen to Incubus. And let them enter my heart just as I let the Gospel I found and downloaded enter my heart, reminding me of the Almighty, how He's watching over me. How He will always be there for me. Except, they're speaking to me in another language. One of complex poerty with the backdrop of delightfully soulful rock beats....

Take me away.

Aug. 21st, 2011


San-X Kutusita Nyanko Day & Night Mug With Heart-Shaped Handle

San-X Kutusita Nyanko Day & Night Mug With Heart-Shaped Handle

I saw this and oh Gods! I got those feelings I used to get when I was just 18 and happy. When I was Queen..er..Princess of my own actions and destiny and space. When if I called a space mine it was! It's sooo glorious! I almost had a heart attack with how cute this website is! My heart palpatated and I felt young! Even though I'm not yet 23! (Not even I believe  this. September 9th seems like some far away date, and the feeling of being young a dream in passing.)

I have to get things from this site. I've squandered away money on trying to help keep our heads above the water and food in out bellies. The occasional accessory....but nothing like this in so long....These are the things that make me happy to buy. I NEED THIS!

Aug. 10th, 2011


Writer's Block: Stomach pains

If you had to participate in an eating contest, what food would you pick to eat?

Chips. Or French Fries. NACHOS! I can throw down on some nachos I tell ya.....Nothing sweet though. Too many sweets make me feel sick.

Writer's Block: Live action hero

Which is your favorite or least favorite comic book-turned-movie?

OOohhhh I love the Dark Knight. Very nice adaptaion of Batman  comincs, especially as they got grittier. So attractive. On the other hand, was not a fan of the Fantastic Four nor The Hulk that was released in the first half of the millenium. Oh, Gods, the most recent was the best. I suppose Transformers was a manga somewhere down the line, and I LOVE the Trilogy! I don't suppose they will make another one. (i heart you Optimus, Bumblebee and Lord Have MERCEH I could get with Mr. Sam Witwiki!)

I have this spiraling out of control crush on Shia. I don't know what to do with myself, but I find that I'm daydreaming about meeting him in Cali on some off chance and...*blinks* I'll leave that for another entry lol.

What else? Techinically, DBZ is a Manga and Anime, but the live action movie? HORRIBLE! Omg, I would have rathered to get soap in my eye on purpose than sit through that mess again. How the cuss do you RUIN that? Apparently it's too easy.

And that's it.

Aug. 3rd, 2011


I should have just shut up...

When I had the chance. And now I've given the impression to an old classmate that I WANT to hear his fantasies of what he'd like to do to me. Like, wtf. I thought having a kid scared men away?! And he knows I mustg be in a relationship of some sort! And he just didn't stop!

I can't even remember how it progressed. All of the sudden, he's talking about how he wants to suck on my 'giant juicy tits put his mouth in places they DO NOT belong on me. And I thought it was a fluke. Hoped so really.But then I happened to see an email from my Nina and see he's sent me one too. About how I need to get on skype so he can tell me how he's going to do this that and the other.

That's when I knew. I mean, I had an inkling before....But I knew for sure,

I should have juts kept my mouth shut. And not flirted, which is a nearly natural reaction to people showing interest. I could beat my own brains out.

Jul. 31st, 2011


The Lord's Day of Rest...

Is my day spent waiting on people. Far too tired to small properly or speak loud enough for them to hear me by mid-day. My knees hurt, back hurt, hips hurt. I feel like I'm bleedin 50 years old, and I'm not yet 23. How's that for women maturing faster? The wolf in sheep's clothing came by today, other wise known as Cheryll to me. She's a sweet woman, honestly she can be. But she has these moments when the middle of her halo comes out and  the edges turn sharp before attaching to her forhead to become the devil.

And I don't know if she realises just what she's doing or how she's acting. She badgered a guy into giving her a bar of chocolate because he was buying the last bit we had, and though it was a little funny at the time, I couldn't help but just wish and wish that she would leave him alone, and let him take it home to his family. It was so totally my fault for it by mentioning it was the last bit, and I wish I'd have kept my mouth shut...Gah @.@!!

On another note, this morning I ended up dealing myself the bad hand just slightly by helping a couple with the ins and outs of the Metro. I swear, if you work at a station where you know that the tourists traffic is a bit higher than others, and you DEFO know that those fool people are going to try to get out early as they can to go into town, there should always be someone on stand by to be there to help them out. I showed them how to get an all day pass, how to work the exit ways (calling them turnstiles doesn't make sense because well, they don't TURN!). The most basic and important tidbit about never ever storing the paper farecards near anything magnetic or metallic. Because it will erase the balance and you've just threw money down the gutter. How you NEVER stand to the left of an escalator (unless no one is about really, e,g Sundays) because during the rush hour, those stuck standing 5 people away from the offender have a strong strong itch to just SHOVE the crap out of them. Not really caring about the possible maiming, because hey, they got work to get to or a bus to catch to get home. They understood well enough and thanked my graciously....*smiles* I enjoyed my good deed for the day even though I got an ear full about the threat of my hours. How if I can't do better on Sundays, they'll get cut and I simply cannot afford it.

And how I've been on a downward spiral at work and that I need to make even. Like, I don't need anyone else telling me I'm a fuckwit, because i know this myself, and occasionally hear it in my head, and that's just like, really bad negative energy to wade through in the morning. Because it'll just carry through the day. And he set me in such a foul mood before I had even counted my money I had to snap a rubber band on my wrists three times and try that pressing my thumb into my palm to calm down. Worked well enough I will say.

And that was the day in a nutshell...Okay, with a hint of larfs and a dash of grit your teeth..

Jul. 26th, 2011


Writer's Block: Late-night TV

We know you watch them (so do we)—what’s your favorite infomercial?

Hahaha I have several and they all center around kitchen gadgets. The magic bullet. The one with the woman and it's like a panini press and more! Like you can make beef medallions and pigs in a blanket and just al sorts of stuff in 7 minutes or less. Um..the rotiessery. Any kitchen knife advert. And most of the time I think, "Bullshit" and yet never turn away from the channel. Wish I could remember the product names, but for the life of me, I can't. :/

Jul. 13th, 2011


It's Official...

I've lost my mind. I am spazzed out, completely 100. I freaking cried (more than once!) watching Juno. I know, big whoop right? But it's different for m (as is most stuff). It seemed like I turned the channel at sorta just the right moment. When Vanessa and her husband (forget his name) are getting a divorce and Juno over hears and drives off like a bat outta hell. And I just watched from there. I know there was some type of sign in there some where.

Because I'd been pissed off at Alex for getting all stroppy because he had to cook dinner after coming home. Like, wtf?! I do it all the time otherwise. i don't even peel out of my clothes! I immediately go to the kitchen and feed Seth if he hasn't eaten, and or, start cooking dinner of some sort. And it's good food! My last culinary adventure was chicken breasts rolled around mozzarella, sauted spinach and fresh garlic, baked at 350 with a can of Cream of Chicken over top for 30 mins. It was the best thing ever!! So moist and juicy!

And you know what?! He DIDN'T EAT IT! He looked down and gave these skeptical looks when I tooted my own horn, raving how good it tasted. HE ATE ALMOST ALL THE MASHED TATOES! And then some time later, huffed slightly and boiled the taste out of three hotdogs. And he has the nerve to bitch? When I pretty much do all the cooking?!

All he ever wants is fried chicken, and like, I can't tolerate that. I rarely fry and opt to grill of bake. Yep, even in the summer, I turn on the oven. And I make good food! I try out recipes in AllRecipes.com Dinner Tonight. I try out what I know from experience. And lately most of the time he wont even EAT it. He can damn well starve. There's food there. There is, and I know it, because I cooked it.

Wow..this turned into a vent....*rubs her temples* Okay...Shutting up. SecondLife here I come.

Jul. 6th, 2011


oh dear and wow

So I've not been on here very much obviously. But perhaps that's about to change. This whole thing is going to change. For I have altered my route! I am no longer just taking many adeventures, but one big one (as life actually is). And it will all be seperated by monthly dead lines.

I feel so proud and also quite nervous. hahahahahaha (mad person laughter)!

So...I am going to just change this little ditty around. Apply for some more jobs. Hop on to secondlife. And then, then I don't know what I'll do. Probably excercise.

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